Year: 3512AD: Excavations unearthed ancient “videos” of early
modern era prophets
The
discovery came after excavations were made for a new LDP temple in what was
once the ancient capital of the American nation. The unearthing took place when
a piece of machinery struck what seemed to be a very old concrete wall. It took
very potent laser shooters to disintegrate the wall and when the debris cleared
there was a room that seemed to be some kind of depository.
The supervisors and high deacons of the church were called
and they entered the chamber and upon examination they determined these to be a
rudimentary form of imaging that was known by the name of video tapes. The
titles were written in what is thought to be the official language of that
nation called America and the hunt was on to find an instrument that could play
these back.
Throughout
the holy Latter Day Prophets Empire museums were searched and ancient
rudimentary audio visual equipment was examined and finally one turned up that
was thought to be in working order in a remote province of what used to be the Chinese
Consortium. They brought the instrument over in the high ultrasonic speed tubes
and they began to play the thousands of “video tapes”.
Earthshaking revelations were found: These were actual
recordings of the voices and images of many of the prominent LDP prophets;
among them were Saint Michelle Bachmann, St. Pat Robertson, St. Gingrich and
St.Santorum who became one of the most quoted and beloved prophets of his day
after an election was held in ancient America and he became the spokesperson
for God himself; instituting many of the traditions and tenets that we so
blissfully enjoy today in our Christian Brotherhood of Latter Day Prophets worldwide
empire.
Decoding and translating the ancient language of English was no easy task since it has been extinct for more than 1500 years. But translators were able to break through when they found a redording of an old film with subtitles in Chinese.
Decoding and translating the ancient language of English was no easy task since it has been extinct for more than 1500 years. But translators were able to break through when they found a redording of an old film with subtitles in Chinese.
As we all know, St. Santorum perished along with all the
other Christianist martyrs in the first of many nuclear attacks by the forces
of Secular Atheist Russia and China.
Human remains were also found alongside the vault and these
couple of dozen skeletons are believed to be the corpses of those forces
that fought against the evil atheist secular liberal oppressors right on the grounds
of an institution of higher learning that also bore the name of the city:
George Washington University.
Petrified
male body almost intact is believed to be of a homosexual, a much despised and common
practice in those days. The pyroplastic dust engulfed the body the instant the
nuclear detonation took place therefore preventing combustion and evaporation
and preserving it much like those found in Pompei. The series of nuclear
conflagrations is what we now know to be “Armageddon or Judgment Day”
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