Thursday, May 31, 2012
IT’S NOT HOW I WRITE BUT WHAT I WRITE
Most of the time you will find my writing unacceptable…you will either hate it or tolerate it, but you might find what I have to say very relevant and often agree with me.
I am not presumptuous enough to think that I can write; after all, English is my third language and I remember when I started college I had arrived in America barely four years before. I had one of those English 101 classes and for the midterm I had to write a short story. The professor, Mrs. Applegate gave me an F on the paper because I used “bitter cold” and she said that it was trite.
To me, English was new, fresh and bitter cold was also new and not trite. For the final, I wrote and wrote and had some of my friends read it and offer advice. By the time the final came, I had almost memorized word by word what I had to write. The story started with “my mind was like a skillet full of scrambled eggs” and Mrs. Applegate thought that was brilliant.
Somewhere along the way; I realized that the English language was somewhat bland. It was devoid of the passion and volatility of the other languages I knew and could express myself so well. My solution was to interject some salt and pepper into the otherwise bland English language stew…profanity. That is why I use it often and I am not apologetic for it. Let the criticisms flow as I stand behind all the FUCKS, SHIT, GOD DAMNED and any other expletive I can come up with.
That is why sometimes I come across as abrasive, opinionated, controversial and arrogant…but hey, Rush Limbaugh has made millions being a pompous, controversial arrogant asshole. In my case, I don’t even aim to make a single penny out of my writings because as you can see, I don’t take advertising.
I have no illusions that I will ever write the great American novel. Before I retired I thought that once I stopped working I could paint, write and travel. I thought I would find time to do all these things and the first year I painted 12 paintings, the second year I wrote “Los Cuentos de la Tía Eloi” in Spanish got it copyrighted but never published it; the third year I got so busy I didn’t have time to scratch my ass and it has been like that ever since.
The only thing I humbly request of my followers is to offer criticism when they notice a major blunder…but if you are going to scrutinize every word, each and every sentence just to award yourself validation…go fuck yourself. I welcome constructive criticism but not self-serving ego trips.
PS: Please don’t make anonymous comments…I don’t publish them.