Friday, June 8, 2012
LOVE HAS TO BE UNCONDITIONAL
A mother or father’s love for a child can’t have any conditions attached to it.
I know firsthand of a case where a mother has totally rejected her son because he came out to her. She is an old friend of my mother who had him out of wedlock. As a single mother, she had difficulties raising him and left the baby sitting and for the most part all of his upbringing to this elderly couple who lived next door to her. These were wonderful people, the salt of the earth who imparted values and a great deal of love on this little bastard boy without making any demands or conditions.
However, the mother’s story is totally the opposite, I suppose that Alec being born out of wedlock bothered her tremendously and that may have been a cause for her rejection. I can’t see it any other way since she is not terribly religious and at times she has blamed herself for him being gay.
It is a situation that is far too common particularly among Evangelical-Mormon-Fundamentalist Christianists. These cult-like followers value their religion so much that it takes precedent to family, community and country. Even jobs they hold have to adapt to their quirks and idiosyncrasies or they scream bloody murder, persecution, Christian bashing and the like.
But I don’t see it, I fail to see how the strongest bond, the most intense love that exists, that of a mother’s love for her child can be wiped out by some absurd and outlandish fabricated religion.
It is not like when you employ the reward and punishment system while you are raising this child. In this case, it is something that is born with the person and if you say to them: “I will only love you if you stick your dick into a cunt” then you are incurring a grave mistake and betraying that love of a parent for a child.
I am so tired of hearing of youngsters even in their early teens who are kicked out of their homes by fanatical religious parents to fend for themselves. A lot of them end up prostituting themselves or into drug addiction. If you destroy the support system a family offers then the individual is devoid of self respect, self-esteem and since this individual has already lost a lot…losing more is totally irrelevant.
I think that it is bad enough that these religious fanatics will follow what their religions tell them about being hateful and passing judgment on others…something the Scriptures clearly oppose…but to go a step further and actually reject your own child because he or she is not conforming to the criteria or ideology of a parent’s religion is preposterous and un-Christian.
My mother’s friend Teresa called my mom on mother’s day but I answered the phone. I asked if Alec had called her and she flew off the handle. “He is the one who should be calling me” she said indignantly. I corrected her by saying that she should have straightened out those differences a long time ago and accepted what her son was…a homosexual, unconditionally and out of her own volition. To expect her son to call her when she had totally rejected him was unthinkable. Well, that was the extent of my chewing her a new asshole…I then gave my mom the phone and they spoke for a while.
Ironically, my mom who is almost 97 has absolutely no problem with the gay issue.