There
is no safe place you can go any more, they are everywhere, from Mormons and
Jehovah’s Witness knocking at your door to Evangelicals urging the fans at a
football game to pray.
Freedom of
Speech and Freedom of Religion are things that our country holds very dear and
I for one, will be willing to defend those two precious principles with my
life; which is something many of these religious fanatics wouldn’t do for the
rest of us.
It is their duty they think to go out and not just
inconvenience prospective converts but to downright do it “in your face” slap
you with their askew ideology and erroneous interpretations of the Scriptures.
But just as they have those freedoms, I also have mine and
it is the freedom from religion. It is not unreasonable of me to expect
to peacefully go about my daily business without being assaulted by these
religious fanatics.
I
say assaulted because that is exactly what happened a couple of years ago. I went
with my ninety-something mother to the supermarket and once I was through
shopping I walked to the car, put the groceries in the trunk and proceeded to
take the cart back to the front of the store. Out of nowhere came two fucking
Jehovah’s Witnesses and trapped my mom between the two cars, one from the front
and one from the back. Naturally, the poor woman freaked out because she
thought she was going to be mugged and began to scream. I ran over and chewed
them a new asshole. Was that necessary? I should think not as I think that if
their fucking religion is so great, people would be knocking down the Kindom
Hall’s front door to join their sect.
The other happened more recently as I was filling up the car
with gas. The Jehovah’s witness waited until I put the nozzle into the car and
began pumping…then he came towards me knowing full well I would be there for a
couple of minutes and would have to listen to his crap.
A
couple of weeks ago I was in the middle of cooking dinner and there was a knock
at the door (doorbell stopped working in 1953) and it was the good old Mormon
missionary boys…good looking as hell and I could see through the glass who they
were because of the white shirt, dark tie and name badge. I took a deep breath,
opened the door and they greeted me: “Good evening brother, we’ve come to bring
you the good news” To which I said: “Oh, don’t tell me, the Inquisition is
over?” Upon my return to the smoked
filled kitchen, my tostones were burnt to charcoal consistency.
Obviously flustered by this response they tried to explain
that they were different and I insisted that there is not one iota of
difference between those religious fanatics who put hundreds of thousands of
people to death in order to convert them and them. They left in a huff, totally
frustrated I am sure.
But let’s look into some of the more egregious instances in
which I think religious fanatics go over the line. Recently the Supreme Court
ruled in favor of that asshole preacher named Phelps who goes around spewing
stupidity and carrying very insulting signs at servicemen’s funerals. This is
one of the many ambiguities that leaves me puzzled…we have men and women giving
up their lives for their country, so that assholes like Phelps symbolically can
go and piss on their graves or disrupt their funerals with insulting signs.
As a country, I think that we need to tone it down a
notch…we have to show these religious fanatics that where their freedom of
religion begins, our rights to privacy end.
No, it is not acceptable and it is
extreme and repugnant. Religion belongs in those monuments to ignorance and
superstition they call churches not at my front door, in front of the
supermarket and certainly not spilling hatred and insult at one of our brave’s
funerals
















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